


Five Times Sherlock Proposed And One Time He Got It Right

by rightonmybins



Series: The Real Househusbands of Baker Street [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Domestic Life at 221B Baker Street, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Marriage Proposal, My First Work in This Fandom, Romance, Snarky John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 21:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13396152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rightonmybins/pseuds/rightonmybins
Summary: Sherlock proposes to John, but as in all matters of the heart, it takes him a few tries to get it right. John’s not falling for any of Sherlock's usual tricks.





	Five Times Sherlock Proposed And One Time He Got It Right

I.  
“John, I think we should get married.”  
“Sherlock, you have a lot of ideas and not all of them are good.”  
“Of course it’s a good idea! Tax advantages and all that. Family discounts at the dry cleaners. Shared –"  
“Not good enough. You’ll have to think of a better reason than that.”  
“Medical directive? End of life decisions?”  
“Well, I would definitely have no problem pulling the plug on you.”

 

II.  
“John, marry me.”  
“Nope.”  
“Come on, it’ll be fun.”  
“No it won’t because you’ll just turn the wedding into some excuse to go haring off on a case while dressed up in morning suits, or you’ll stop the service to accuse one of the guests of murder, or you’ll say your vows wrong or lose the ring or poison the wedding cake as an experiment.”  
“No I won’t. Promise.”  
“Huh. I know your ‘promises’.”  
“What if we elope to Las Vegas and get married by an Elvis impersonator?”  
“NO.”

 

III.  
“John, it’s a scientific fact that married people live longer, happier, healthier lives.”  
“Sherlock, you read that in the Daily Mail, not in The British Journal of Science.”  
“Don’t you want to be happier?”  
“I'm very happy right now, thank you, or I would be if you stopped interrupting my blogging.”  
“How about healthier?”  
“I have never smoked, I eat a balanced diet, I get plenty of sleep, I stay well-hydrated, and I meditate, all of which you do not do, so I think it’s fair to say I’m healthy, certainly heathier than you are.”  
“I meditate.”  
“You do not. You go to your Mind Palace, which is not the same thing at all.”  
“But surely you want to live longer?”  
“One of us may not live any longer if you don’t stop annoying me.”

 

IV.  
“John, I don’t want to call you my colleague – I would like to be able to refer to you as my husband.”  
“No.”  
“ ‘This is my husband, John Watson’.”  
“No.”  
“ Or: “I’d like to introduce you to my husband, Dr. John Watson’.”  
“NO.”  
“Or: ‘I’ll have to ask my husband, John’."  
“That’s not going to happen. Forget it.”  
“I want to call you my DH in blog posts.”  
“STOP IT.”

 

V.  
“John, if we got married it would make Mrs. Hudson so happy.”  
“Sherlock, Mrs. Hudson is happy as long as we’re not destroying her floors or her wallpaper, and as long as we pay the rent on time. I think it would take more than a legal contract between us to make her life complete.”  
“She said she wants to bake us a wedding cake.”  
“Your birthday’s coming up, she can bake you a birthday cake.”  
“It wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t have 2 little grooms standing on the top surrounded by doves and flowers.”  
“Well thank God for that.”  
“She’s got a new dress and hat that she’s dying to wear.”  
“We’ll take her out to a fancy lunch, she can wear them then.”  
“I think she’s already got a wedding gift picked out.”  
“Is it a new refrigerator? No? Deal’s off then.”  
“OH MRS. HUDSON!!!”  
“Sherlock, stop shouting.”

 

VI.  
“John, you know I think being married to you would be the most wonderful thing in the world for both of us. I love you, respect you, depend on you, and want to live with you until the end of my days. Please say you’ll marry me and make me the happiest man in the world.”  
“Sherlock, I wish you wouldn’t try to have a conversation with me while you’re in the shower, you know I can’t hear you when the water’s running.”  
“John, my life is not complete without you in it, and despite all of my obvious shortcomings, the fact that you still seem to love me is a miracle. I would be lost without you.”  
“Sherlock! You’ll either have to speak up or turn off the water, I can’t understand a thing you’re saying!”  
“And John, I swear on all that is holy that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy, and hope to never give you cause to regret saying yes.”  
“…Sherlock? Now that you’ve turned off the shower – what were you trying to tell me?”  
“I suppose I’ll just have to come out there and repeat it. Tedious. Do try to pay attention this time.”

**Author's Note:**

> My firstborn. Awww.


End file.
